Day 14: Gratefulness Journey--What makes you Happy?

I was woken up early this morning to a blanket of snow and being asked...are you happy?...after a fitful night of dreams.  All day I've struggled with the answer to that question--while watching the snow fall and cover the earth.  At some point going outside to get my cd case from the car to listen to some Traditional Pueblo music and Sundance songs.  Letting the dogs come out with me and watching them frolick in the snow.  Running and jumping and playing--the neighbor kids building a snowman with their mom, another child learning to make snow angels around back.  All the while laughing with the four leggeds as they pounced up and down chasing each other in the snow that was falling.

Thinking about the young woman who went out to Standing Rock 3 weeks ago.  The other night as the police force said they weren't using water cannons or harming the prayer protectors while watching the online streaming videos of them doing that and more.  A grenade blew a hole in her arm.  It took her 8 hours to get to a surgeon--while 1/2 of her arm was gone.  I heard today it had been amputated although I haven't confirmed it.  Am I happy?

Thanksgiving as a child was always one of my favorite holidays.  Our extended family came out to the farm each year and we had two stoves going--usually two turkeys cooking--and food for miles.  We celebrated all of the fall birthdays then as well--hung out and enjoyed the day and night.  I miss those days.  Innocence has a way of being easy on people.  As we grow up and see the other sides of things some folks choose to medicate the pain of life in one way or another.  For me though--I look at both sides.  Here we are, thinking we are so much further along than we actually are.  Praying for peace, yet fighting any chance we can to be the top dog.  the leader of the pack.  Watching the dichotomy of the Water Protectors--unarmed, protesting what we all believe in to be good and right and true--coming up against a paid police force using harm, lying and laughing as they do more harm.  So much polarization.  Wondering again, what will it take for people to walk hand in hand--even if they have different training or education, different skin color or sexual persuasion?  Is it so wrong to want that?  Am I happy?

Meanwhile on the political front there's a President not doing anything while people are being harmed.  There's a president elect going back on all of his pre election promises, yet hiring white supremacists to man the fort.  Riots and walk outs continue as people again...have to get their say in the matter spoken.  Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights!  Forgive me, my children's father was from Jamaica--played with Bob Marley a time or two.  Every now and again a song pops in the picture. (he's not part of our lives, has many children all over the us and doesn't help them either, in case you're wondering).

CNN sent me an email today about an article  The year of living thankfully in which the author talks about another list of things to do to stay in the Gratefulness zone. Making the statement

"To get in better touch with gratefulness, all you have to do is find easy ways to count blessings more often than, say, over an annual turkey dinner. Keep them boiling on the front burner of your mind, and you increase your appreciation of life."  How hard it is sometimes to remain grateful--when your beliefs are being hit with a grenade.  How difficult it is to remain happy or peaceful--when others are egging you on.  I can't say with any certainty that I have an answer to that question I was posed so early in the morning...am I happy?  But I have thought about it--at least there's that.  Wondering why it is so difficult for some people to love others who are different than they are. Wondering why some people feel the need to be in charge of or in power over others as we move into Thanksgiving.  Life is full of chaos too.  It isn't all roses for some.  

So if these things do not make me happy...what others are saying.  What can one do about it?  Get up, stand up...Stand up for your rights!...  About to settle down for the night, and see what tonight brings for dreaming.  Hoping the struggle posed last night and today have found some peace by what was said or done.  Grateful for the small moments with my children, our puppies jumping in the snow, and watching the kids play outside.  Grateful for the songs to sing, the memories of prayer circles gone by...and the courage that people have.  regular every day people have...to go up against the insanity.  Grateful the insanity I struggled with today was just a dream--nobody that I saw got harmed in it--grateful to have my own say in it too.  And you?

 Are you happy?

Enjoy the day with your families tomorrow.  I hope you smile...