A moment to catch my breath after yesterday's announcement that Trump had won the election. Not only for myself but for my daughter who voted for the first time ever the day before. Getting through the disappointment that he had been chosen, thinking that the ability and responsibility to vote didn't necessarily mean that people were going to go along with what you have chosen. And yet seeing the millions of people marching world wide with the same sentiments--America has elected a racist, KKK and Nazi heralding buffoon to lead us into the next 4 years. Riots and walk outs all over in the past 24 hours. What is there to be grateful for with this? Even though I am facing harassment on my Facebook page about my thoughts and beliefs--People are having the ability to voice their opinions. My daughter is able to express her displeasure about what has occurred--that's always been one of our foundations in the home. My children's viewpoints have mattered to me--mattered more than most anything at times. When they are upset or angry, fearful or shy, happy and excited--each time I will continue to support and honor them. Do I question them too? Of course--but also understand that as they make it through this world they will have unique challenges that I know nothing about. Remember, my children are of mixed heritage--we live in a predominantly white, blonde and republican small town--and have had instances of racially based hatred. If they fear these choices then by all means necessary do I give them ways to express, to grow and to learn. So what do we do when our choices aren't listened to in the world? Look around you and see the riots, the walk-outs and disappointment in humanity that is all over the news. How does one get through the times when one may be surrounded by humans who disappoint you? Where do you find gratefulness in that?
As a child and teenager myself I look back on myself as a lonely person. Having friends and doing things in high school with others that were fun and exciting--but internally feeling so aloof. I used to be able to hear other people's thoughts or heart on the matters that went on--and still do. I started early on speaking with Creator and Mother Earth as a release in asking questions or wondering why so many of the people I was surrounded by said one thing internally and another out of their mouths or through their actions. It's been a life long lesson for me in finding folks that I resonate with personally. Forty years or so has passed and I am still finding the same lessons weaving their way through--hearing people speak out of both sides of their mouths, this time on a much larger scale. What I've learned from all of my teachers, elders and connections with Spirit has still rung true--continue walking, continue talking, continue speaking out or doing something in the physical to bring the dream into reality. Remembering them say, let the young ones do the fighting, the standing up for. Again, allowing my children their own voice to express what it is they need to express. Show me who you are lil mama, lil man...show me what you want in this life of yours. Teach me and guide me and let me see how you want to do it, how does it work for you lil ones?
Puppy woke me up this morning at 1:30 or so--followed by the eerie sound of coyotes or a band of dogs growling in the area--other dogs barking their response. Hearing the tension outside so close to town, so close to my window. Remembering yesterday letting the dogs outside and seeing the deer on the lawn 50 ft from where we stood. Getting Puppy to not bark at them and see them as 'friendly'--or at least not a threat. Very different worlds or morning's here in the woods. Wondering as the day plays itself out and watching for those pack of wild dogs trying to gather food, or go up against the dogs in the area. Fighting. Coming up on the Full moon soon and all that entails. Watching the Standing Rock Indigenous continue to Pray and stand for Peace while the establishment continues to rape the land, shoot at the people, and do what they want. How would you expect to understand choice if you were not shown both sides? Recently someone made me aware of her relationships. How she found herself standing up for someone on a visceral level and how new that was. Chuckling as I sit here continuing to fight for what I had with my husband even though he's been gone so long. Allowing them to love. Allowing them to fight for and with. yes, interesting times we are finding ourselves in. Continuing to bicker online with proponents of Trump--what else is facebook for right? Sad that the three of them couldn't help the voters to feel better--Obama, Trump and Clinton--each saying put it all aside and lets be friends now. Let's unify and do this together now....while the Natural world is showing me something altogether different.
So being Grateful: Days 5 & 6: I can't say I'm following any of the Gratitude prompts on what I am supposed to be writing about. It's not all fun and games as the saying goes. There is a huge rift right now in people of color--will this pass too? My mother always used to say that--some days are diamonds, some days are stones....and this too will pass. But really will it? Will we ever come back to Peace when there was so much hatred spewed out from both Trump and Clinton? Get the whites back in power where it belongs...and kick out any of the brown or black skinned people....right? Grateful I have mixed race children. Grateful that my family doesn't always understand where I am coming from. Grateful that I still have the ability to protect them and keep them safe. Grateful that they can have a voice, speak up and out and I will continue to support them. Grateful that we are still able to do these things in our neck of the woods. And you? What are you finding out about yourselves and your family's the past two days? What about your friends or people you went to school with? Interesting times....we find ourselves in.
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